To My Future Employers:
I am a City College student studying film, who at this moment is slacking off from school "trying to find myself". I am a huge dork, but I have a mean right hook. Not only do I wish that I could birth Questlove's babies (that man is GENIUS), I wish I had could have the Roots follow me around and just play live music for me all day. I'm Cuban and Jordanian, so all your food is the equivalent of a wet dream. I'm also a mean baker (Purple Rain Shortcakes, with chocolate sauce. Just think about it.) and I dug your take on Twinkies. I plan on hosting my own slacker cooking show. Even though I have mentioned the word 'slacker" I am hard worker and terribly reliable, and I'm always on time. Plus, I have experience in food service, so I can handle all the rowdy customers without catching a case. I split my time between Harlem and the Bronx, but i would definitely relocate, if I got this job.
Hope to hear from you soon!
-Victoria
BOSS! That is how you mother fucking write a cover letter. Victoria, you the employee of last month. Pour some Apple Sidra out fo yoself or we can go get bluies at Apollo.
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