Drunk Birds left the Car runnin'

The Villagers Strike Back

So, I was talking to Emery (my brother) about the difference between shitty asian fusion and the new modern Asian places we like. Its been going on for a while, but for the first time, I'm seeing good ones. For every shitty place doing tempura super orgasm volcano dragon eel surprise hand rolls, there's a Kyo-ya, Basta Pasta, or Bonchon. But, I don't see this as fusion and that's what people need to understand. Food is cultural and just like any movement, things have to evolve. Some evolve out of struggle and some are just random unexpected mutations.

If I have to break it down in simple lowest common denominator terms: 80s - consumerism, 90s - grunge/hip hop backlash-struggle stories, late 90s - puffy suits/boy bands/.com boom/more consumerism.. Early 2000s you see the hipster - someone who consumes identity and culture (its been done before, but now in a more literal ironic bullshit way). Everyone hates the hipsters and hipsters don't even know they're hipsters, but one thing I do know is that the hipster is dead (Can you really argue? your culture is so formulaic that people have sold it as KESHA LOL. Its like when Asian fusion was so bad subway came with the teriyaki sub). I feel we're in the midst of a turn with the economic crash. This period to me is about "The Villagers Strike Back". Very Edward Said-like... I know.

The 10s will be about second-generation immigrants or the gentrified turning the tables outside the ivory tower. Just look at the things that made waves the last few years: MIA, Obama, Asian Street Food (ramen, banh mi, pork buns), Slumdog Millionaire. For once, instead of being victims of appropriation, we will become the appropriators. The villagers strike back. We have now either grown up in America or consumed "Americana" as 3rd party viewers who are not totally accepted, not totally alienated. We weren't full participants and as spectators we have a different view.

Minority artists are now showing people how America looks to us. If one song sums it up, its Nas and Lauren Hill - If I ruled the world. We're finally getting to paint that picture and I feel its because of the recession. People are seeing the failures of corporate America, the false dreams that B-School, Law School, or any school for that matter sells us. Its all a ruse. Our parents worked their asses off to help us pay for colleges/grad schools that led us astray. They want us to think the Ivory tower is the only way. You have to go to college, then it became you have to go to grad school, you know what, I wish I just read more books in HS and saved my money as a bus boy instead of chasing Jordans that my mom wouldn't get me as a kid. Small business is what can turn the culture of this country around.

A lot of us have been doing this for a minute subconsciously and just out of necessity. A lot of the things I cook came out of an organic American experience. Cheeto fried chicken happened because I didn't have sweet potato starch and wanted to make Taiwanese fried chicken, so I used cheeto crumbs. Its authentic localized/modern Taiwanese food. My dad started making ketchup fried rice. Then I saw Korean people were doing it too. Its not some wack fusion attempt that some gwai lo who went back packing in Asia cooked up. The food comes out of a REAL experience. I'm sure in 3 years, it will be played out but I will never be bored of it because its my story. Others will probably see and consume it as a fad or write it off as just the new trendy thing, but take a look and let it sink in. There's something real going on right now.

We're as post-modern as the hipster, but without the self-referential bullshit and pessimism about where our culture is going. Hipsters make fun of the way their culture works, yet secretly continue to engage in it. Whereas, us second-generation immigrants take pride in our shit. Yes, Chinese culture has its flaws (AKA the belief you're dog shit if you're not a doctor/lawyer/stock trader) yet we want to evolve the culture rather than make fun of it and pretend it's not where we came from. We don't deny our roots, we use them to grow. We poke fun at FOBs, but those FOBs are our parents. They are a part of us. There's a reason being called a twinkie or an oreo is an insult. Post-modernism was supposed to bring an objective point of view so people could see the flaws and make improvements, not become a tactic for people to deny responsibility and try to look edgy/hip by being above all of it. Hipsters are cutting their own legs off and trying to replace them with peglegs from other cultures. That's where this need for cultural voyeurism comes from. They're trying to deforest our culture to build legs for themselves, and it's not gonna work. Now we're the ones building it on our own roots.

(This was my first post I wrote in collab with Emery!)

Too Expensive?

So... Everyone knows I got that fire. That butter soft. I don't step on my shit: all nautral, humanely raised and braised. Out O.T. people are droppin like flies puttin MSG and color treated chinatown meat in they systems. BUT, the stupid fiends don't see the dry mouth, headaches, and bodies droppin, they just see someone in another borough with baos for less. They all, "Ayo E, your shit is the jump, but mad expensive." And I'm like SON, this is Niman Ranch Custard no borax, no b-12, no soda. The fuck you want? I'm the other guy that got your mother high. Buns like an emperor, I make geishas cry. (assist from killah)

I really want to smack people who say its too expensive at Baohaus. I remember when Chinamen and Women were EMBARRASSED to not have money. The good ol days when the gremlin keepers fought over who paid the bill and saved money by getting haircuts in bathtubs with noodle bowls. They just don't make us like they used to. My model has obviously been retired cause I don't complain that something is $1 more. Huang Model #1689 put the jersey in the rafters next to Yao Ming Model #11.

Let's do a pros and cons between me and smack your favorite wack chinatown dump.


Chinatown Pros

Its Cheap
More trains in the area (N, Q, 4, 5, etc)
They serve scorpion bowls without a liquor license (BOSS)
You get fortune cookies
The waitresses are easy

CONS

You probably just supported terrorism aka falun gong
You just supported the slaughter of pigs raised in cages that were fed their own doodies
And you will have diarrhea in t-minus 10 seconds (PRO: your jeans will look like circa '98 diesel destroyed joints so that's kinda cool)
You are most likely supporting sweatshop type hours
You are eating in a god damn tourist trap, the Taiwanese are in flushing...


Baohaus Pros

It tastes better
All natural, humanely raised meat
Sarah just posted the no pigeons video on my facebook
Victoria just told a customer she could sell ice to an eskimo
We serve people with no pants on as long as they wear ice cream gloves when ordering
We got co-signed by the motherland (TVBS)
You are supporting people who say fuck the law, don't ask me for shit, everything you get you got to work HARD for it!


CONS

If you say anything on yelp, I will probably murk you
If you act like a retard, we will talk about you in our open kitchen
The alias owner next door sometimes throws plates at people


Last but not least..... ITS ALL A LIE. All the people who say you can get gua bao for cheaper in chinatown are FULL OF SHIT. That's the funniest thing. On yelp, on twitter, its always an Asian person saying it thinking that we won't pull their card. THERE IS NO GUA BAO PERIOD in CHINATOWN.

You know what Asians, its time to stop thinking you have credibility just cause your Asian. Every single person I have messaged or asked point blank where they can get a gua bao in chinatown they shut the fuck up. If you find one, then bring it over, eat it and tell me to my face its better and cheaper. In flushing, YES, temple snacks, 66, you can get it. And its not bad. Its not as good as ours, you save $1, and you have to take the 7-train. You have to be the only Asian who spelled their name wrong on the SAT if you think that's better value.

Oh yea.... and I just fed the streets with $1 green monster sandwiches that I made with Niman Ranch Bacon ends. I didn't even cover my costs. Its a gift from me to you, die hater.

This crazy bitch lives in the building next to us

This crazy bitch lives in the building next to us. She throws plates at our window a la don't tell mom the babysitter is dead ("dishes are done"), wears gardening crocs at night and smells like the devil's butthole stuffed with rotten cabbage. Apparently (neighbors told us) she's also one of the owners of Alias. I love the staff at Alias and the food is good, but this bitch has gots to go. This is a photo of her taking a photo of steve taking a photo of baohaus. She got pissed Steve was taking photos of baohaus because apparently the flash is just too much for her old ass to handle at 9pm on a Sunday. We really hope she is not an owner at alias so we can go back there to eat without supporting the United Plate Throwing Wenches of Rivington.

More Choice Eats Photos!

More Photos from the Choice Eats Event!



The setup



Mob control



Eddie and Sarah slingin baos!


Waygu Kobe Beef and Niman Ranch Pork Belly Baos!

W.W.K.J.J.E.

Our newest menu item the Wagyu bao. Here's the menu description. Go at it.

W.W.K.J.J.E.?: Imperial Wagyu Skirt Steak strictly for my ninjas. The first person to guess the acronym gets their face photoshopped on the wall. And gets the bao for free. In store submissions only...

More Photos from Demo!

The homie steven lau came through and took some photos of the URS Viewing Party and Cooking Demo! Here's Victoria from Chinatown Cake Club handing out the Yuzu Glazed Tofu Cream Cheese Twinkies we made!



Lot of heads came out to support!







Evan servin' fiends

Baohaus on TVBS

Everybody knows the key is to have the streets, especially the Taiwanese shawty dressed as Carmen Sandiego above. At Baohaus, we understand this concept. But streets are not limited by lines drawn by men or water... We are focused on the Global Takeover BONG. Thank you Taiwan, I'ma hold down the East Coast and represent for all of the stinky tofu peoples... its all good. I appreciate you recognizing who has the streets on lock. Lets just not get destroyed by big brother.

We are hiring!

All positions. If you or any friends you know want to get busy, leave a comment!

Photos from Demo and Choice Eats

Shouts to Susan Shek for the photos from our URS Viewing Party and Demo! You know daddy had to rock the King Jaffe Jo Jump-Off for the special occasion.



Choice eats was crazy. Mad hungry people with no manners trying to jack me for my food. All you see here is my head. Photos later of the ill diplomats shirt that made an appearance. BRRRRR. As Snoop once told me, "You don't love me, you just love my wagyu." We came with our a-game. Niman Pork Belly and Imperial Wagyu Skirt Steak.

Good quote on fusion cuisine

Randomly was reading about fatty cue and didn't know who this guy Zak Pelaccio is cause I didn't read food blogs or magazines until this year. I just felt discovering things on your own is more fun and part of the food experience. Either way, I never ate at his restaurant but his answer to this interview question is really dope. I mean, his answers for the entire interview gave me a boner (no homo) but this one stuck out.

"TR: What is your philosophy on food and dining?
ZP: I believe first in the quality of ingredients, local purchasing and in cooking seasonally. I also think it’s really important for food to make sense and have a sense of place. It’s clear when a dish went through an uninformed creative process, when it hasn’t really been inspired by original, nostalgic, congruent thought. I don’t believe in fusion when it’s obviously out of place, which is really common here in the U.S. I think food needs some sort of base and it’s just as important to know where your ideas come from, as it is to know where your beef comes from. Because some states of Malaysia are former British colonies, it’s normal to find these British remnants in the form of fish and chips or beans on toast at Malaysian cafes. Historically, culturally, this sort of fusion makes sense and there’s a place for it on my menu."

http://www.starchefs.com/chefs/rising_stars/2006/ny/html/bio_z_pelaccio.shtml

Will be making it to fatty cue soon. One of the best answers I've heard concerning fusion. Its not bad if its an organic localization that makes sense in terms of the food as well as the culture and history.... For instance, I love Jamaican Chinese food that happened through Chinese immigration and Chinese people making homestyle dishes with what was available in Jamaica. Cooking Chinese to me is about technique less than it is about ingredients. Obviously, some are sort of indispensable like ginger, green onions, and soy, but if you don't have ginger, maybe grab horseradish? The best dishes I've made came out of not having what I normally would use and becoming a McGyver cook. Like cheeto fried chicken. I didn't have bread crumbs so I crushed up cheetos and it was the bomb. Ghetto, but still the bomb.

Green Monster @ Baohaus Wednesday

$1 on wednesday..... you can't beat that

URS - Done!

Thanks to every one who came out to the show! I really appreciate all the support the last few months and it was cool to kick it with yall.

Someone asked me an interesting question: "Why did you do a screening of the show if you lost?"

I never thought about it that way but it was interesting. I was hustlin for most of 2009 after being laid off so 25k would have been dope, but I wasn't going to get crazy competitive or wild out over it. I'm not gonna do something I regret for 25k... its peanuts. I think its really funny that the food network tries to hype up how 25k is supposedly "life changing". Antoine Walker could spend that shit by lunch.

To me, it was fun to just do the show and at the time I had no intention of opening a restaurant. Every thing just happened when I was on craigslist looking at funny jobs and there was a casting call for recipes. I sent it in, a few months later, heard back that I got cast and the day of the shoot, I just showed up at the studio in chelsea and did it. I had a lot of fun. Watching Diners, Drive-ins, Dives, I thought Guy Fieri was gonna be a wack "Bro" but he was really down to earth, funny, and genuinely a cool dude to be around. He's honest too. Once you meet him, you see why so many heads turn out for his road shows and shit. He's the man and he deserves everything that's goin well for him right now. I think Psilakis has one of the funniest roles on television as the "tough guy" sitting next to the good housekeeping lady. I can't co-sign that homie. I was on felony-p pissing in cups during lunch breaks for 3 years, that's whats really hood.

I'll have the green monster at the restaurant so people can try it for themselves. If its wack its wack so lemme know. Asian women, please don't hurt me. Yall scare me for real. Asian women berating me about my food gives me flashbacks of my mom hitting me with giant chopsticks. I'll do it for $1 one day this week. Its easy to make at home too so i'll post recipes tomorrow. Now, I did think Alford was a good judge. She has specific feedback and understands what people are trying to do. She also is fully aware of what the show is trying to do and doesn't hold punches:

"Then the ultimate thing that we look at is this a recipe that people will want to be able to cook at home and "are the instructions manageable and doable?" If it's a fifty ingredient recipe, we pretty much think people watching are going to say, "I'm not going to do that." I want people to cook, so I'm trying to make it bring more people into the kitchen.

LINK HERE

For my recipe, you're not going to have these ingredients at the store and I'll say it again... would be nice to have more diversity of judges. But that goes for every competition outside the olympics and people still wild over that shit haha. I actually think the green monster is great and wouldn't change anything, they just got caught up trying to "categorize" or "understand it". Its food, fucking eat it.

I took what Alford said to heart and went back into the lab. You can see that the haus bao at baohaus is significantly better and improved than what I did on the show. The show bun was still sick but it didn't have the cilantro, relish, peanut, sugar. At the time, I couldn't find the peanut powder I wanted or the right sugar. Guy talked to me after the show and told me to just work hard, stick with it, and come back better than ever, so I did. I shot the show 9/24/09, opened baohaus christmas eve exactly 3 months later. My mom speak broken English, my pops got a jehri curl, i live in a one-bedroom with 2 brothers and my girl. I don't give a fuck what people above Houston think of me. We serve pimps, players, and Asians with beepers (u love it Nasir).

"So you can pay three and buy yourself some bapestas, bulletproof on the T-shirts because they hate us.... peel money rolls till our thumbs get the paper cuts... WHO GONNA STOP US? NOT A GOD DAMN ONE OF YA" - Clipse

yea u too..... LOL

Food Network Viewing Party Update.. Half priced Drinks!

!! HALF PRICED DRINKS @ Essex for the Food Network Viewing party this SUNDAY 3/21 starting at 8:15 !!!
Event deets HERE !!

Change!

sorry for change, waiting for paint to dry still. We will be open Friday @ 12pm for sure. Thanks for your patience.

MY MAN!!!!

No homo. This is my dude. Jason Milanese. He is the De Bragga & Spitler rep that I roll with. We talked to a lot of meat purveyors before deciding on De Bragga. If you have been reading the blog for a while, you'll remember our post from November when I took photos in the meat locker. I'll be going back soon so I'll get you shots of all the new stuff they got in there.

I decided to go with De Bragga cause they're the exclusive distributor of Niman Pork/Beef in our area and because they have a good Wagyu and Kobe program. While I was using certified angus, I liked their stuff the best as well. I have no incentive to B.S., they don't give me any discounts for blogging about em haha. But, I saw No Reservations two weeks ago when they went to Minetta Tavern's Butcher (who's very good) and I figured, what the hell, why not let people know where I get my meat from? You guys have seen the photos and tasted the food, there's more than one butcher in NY. BONG.

Baohaus 2.0

Somehow Matt beat me to my own news! LOL. I like the post so I don't need to say anything but direct you to feast. http://www.nbcnewyork.com/feast/Inside-Baohaus-20.html
If it wasn't clear though, we have already been serving Niman Pork for a while but Niman Beef will be coming in this weekend AND the Wagyu Bun will be permanent. Beef Noodle Soup, we thought about taking off but due to demand, we're gonna keep it on now that we have some room. Enjoy!

New Late Night Hours starting Thursday!

Starting this week after the renovation. New late night hours Friday and Saturday plus extended weeknights. Which means more crunk people peeing their pants eating baos cause we don't have a bathroom. What can I say? We gotta compete with that massage parlor next door that kicks our asses in average check every night.

Sunday through Thursday: 12pm to 11pm
Friday and Saturday: 12pm to 4am

BRRRRRRRRR (bird call)

Pigeons

Too many birds at the ho-haus LOL

Shouts to Sarah for reminding me of the Sporty Thieves x TLC battle. Pigeons definitely got bodied... Now that I think about it... Mike Tyson jumped on the Canibus 2nd round knockout diss track going at LL ... and he loves pigeons... So you'd think he'd have had TLC's back? Just don't make no sense!!!

BAOHAUS CLOSED FOR RENOVATION!

Baohaus closed Monday (3/15) thru Wednesday (3/17) next week for interior renovations!!!

Employee of the Month

At Baohaus, we like to think the people are better than the food. Our service sucks, but every one is kinda like James Franco in Pineapple Express. We are totally incapable of anything useful, but we're very fun to be around. Kate embodies this ideal. When we posted a craigslist ad titled: "Baohaus Hiring People Who Listen to Ghostface" she responded with this:

Hello,

I am writing in response to your Craigslist ad posted on February 4th. My name is Kate and I'm a recent art history graduate from NYU. I also have a degree in Shaolin shadow-boxing aka I can go back and forth on the Wu and Killa Cam in his best years (IMO the pink-fur wearing image I saw on your blog ~ the time of Purple Haze). I live nearby on the LES and although I don't have experience in food service, I do love food in a very genuine, this tastes good and I like it way. I think Baohaus looks delicious. Pork is always great, and I'm stoked to see some Niman Ranch meat on the menu. I'm a good, honest, responsible and respectful person to work with and I can be pretty fun, too.

Warmly,
Kate


I interviewed her and said, "Shawty, if you don't rob me and try not to eat too much pork fat during your shift, we'll get along fine." And we have. Kate, you are the mother fucking employee of the month. So Ms. Employee of the Month, you don't win anything, but I did buy you a spinach salad a few days ago so are we all square?

Twinkies!

I aint no twinkie, but I wanted to do baked goods. Errybody and their mamas does cupcakes. Plus, we're across the street from sugar sweet sunshine so not trying to shark bite. Soooo, Ning actually came up with the idea of doing twinkies! I came up with some ill fillings and worked with Christina Ha. She took this photo. Christina's been busy though so we're collabing with Victoria from Chinatown Cake Club! Gonna be dope so stay tuned.

Biggie Day!

As Canibus said, "The greatest rapper of all time died on March 9th." Thanks to every one who came out for Biggie day. Don't know if people noticed, but when the times came, I made sure to wear my BIG shirt that said "T-Bone Steak Cheese Eggs and Welch's Grape".

In my book, BIG is numero uno. Not even close. RIP big homie.... Not much else to say. Sad day every year but we tried to do somethin' nice for the kids today. If you missed it today, we'll do it again every year.

Food Network Viewing Party!

Come throwdown and learn how to make Baohaus Haus Baos @ Essex March 21st at 8:15 pm (will start promptly)! We will also screen Ultimate Recipe Showdown at 9pm along with drink specials, bao specials, other food specials, etc. Cheeky Sandwiches, Chinatown Cake Club and the chef from Sushi Uo will be in the house so come meet some of the peeps behind your favorite eats and the idiots behind baohaus!

And yes, titties will be out, we will get crunk, and iit will get real stupid!!!!!!!!!

To recap,

Bao demonstration (not a communist one, just a food one)
Drink and Bao Specials
Other food (like ben-yays from cheeky and other tbd)
Ultimate Recipe Showdown
Titties

What more can you ask for? RSVP HERE

Umami is B.S.

Umami is bullshit. Everytime I see these new Kikkoman ads about umami, I laugh. Nothing was worse than that umami challenge on next iron chef either. I bet ajinomoto or kikkoman bank rolled that episode LOL. Look, Umami is freakin' MSG! Yes, MSG and "Umami" occur naturally, but umami is basically an ad agency attempt at repackaging MSG to sell to you. If you don't like MSG, stop blabbering about umami. Its a marketing ploy.

Where U Been?

My bad I haven't been blogging this week. I'm still down with OPP but since that Times article shit's done changed! No time to get crunk anymore. We hired two new people Ceasar and Joy. We're still hiring, but its been tough adjusting to the new volume we get. I'd say that the last two weeks felt like a whole new restaurant opening. Our operation is entirely different than it was before. We have 3 on the line, prep around the clock, new ordering system, and we are going to do a renovation of the kitchen in a couple weeks. There's no way we can pump out food at the rate we need to with the space we have currently so bear with us yall and thanks for the support!

Now for the bad news..... this is the last week we will have beef noodle soup. After this week, its off the menu. I'll have a batch by late afternoon tomorrow, but its 86'd after that. Really sorry yall but we just don't have the room on the line for the soup and noodles with the increased volume. It sux but hopefully we can figure out a way to get it back.....

Baos Got Bodied

My favorite catering order yet was for Jenny 8 Lee's Oscar Party! This was her twit pic of the trays after people destroyed the baos haha. Really cool people. I read Jenny's book Fortune Cookie Chronicles every day on the train from brooklyn when I lived in Ft. Greene and commuted to the restaurant. I finished it right before I moved back to the city. Really dope book that shows the human cost to cheap food and also breaks down a lot of the myths about Chinese food. My favorite part is that as an ABC, you read the book and relate to Jenny's jokes about parents, non-native chinese food eaters, etc. Fob recognize Fob. Def give it a read.

Fuck what ya heard who's da best in NY?

I'm the Frank White of the Bun Game. We got that raw. Thanks for the support yall. Another championship banner for the island.....

CLICK HERE for the article!