Four Loko... once and for all

So, I drink a lot of four loko and its dope. That's really all there is to it. I like gummy bears and I like alcohol that taste like malt liquor gummy bears. The whole crack down is comedy to me. I found this stuff earlier this year around March. I started seeing cans of it on the curb, mad people on the bus were drinking it, and the cans looked like sizzurp fucked an arizona iced tea. It was kinda crunk. I had one can and knew it was going to blow up.

Four Loko gets you crunk for $2.50 and most people only drink 1 or 2. Its making news because people are ending up in the hospital as a result of BINGE drinking four loko but tons of people murk themselves for binge consumption of other things like cheeseburgers, cigarettes, and scientology. What's worse? Four Loko or the Tea Party?

The fact that this is news is kind of ridiculous. Lawmakers need to find something besides four loko to stump about. There are tons of unlimited mimosa/screwdriver/bloody mary brunches in NYC but the SLA isn't "keeping an eye" on them. Continental has a 10 shots special for $10. Those specials are dope too. Keep it up. Alcohol doesn't kill people, stupid people kill people. Some of my homies are a bigger threat to society drinking coconut water than me with a four loko. Without four loko, people will just drink something else.

I fux with four loko cause its a wild-out concept and gets right to the point. It blatantly is created to get you blitzed really cheap and there is no pretension. It's an HONEST product. I love it. It's the moonlight bunny ranch of malt liquors. "Get in, get out, that's a OG's classic." This is the only time in my life I will ever quote Memphis Bleek, but sometimes mo-fuckers say some real shit.



Politicians just want to find an easy hot button issue that they don't need to actually read 300 page reports on to understand and can get the PTA/Soccer Mom vote for supporting. Ban alcohol targeted at kids, who wouldn't agree to that? You put the word "children" or "kids" in the headline concerning a political position and its taboo. No politician in their right mind would oppose a four loko ban. But, I'm not a politician, I don't have a constituency, and I think it makes no legal sense that this drink is being targeted.

On some Larry Flynt shit, I think a ban should be opposed. Banning four loko flies in the face of logical legal interpretation and the sole reason there is an argument to ban it is because what four loko promotes culturally (cheap booze) is an indefensible political position. Just like the prohibition of chronic in this country, there are so many things similar to four loko being permitted that it seems this is in danger of a ban because of the sub-culture surrounding it. Sometimes the law allows for cultural activities that conservatives oppose, but those activities don't limit or endanger anyone else's right to exercise their individual freedoms. So, logically, there is no legal reason why there should be a ban if we still believe in a social contract theory.

We're all kind of having fun with four loko from the music videos to house parties to cheap dates at Seward Park. We aint gonna hurt nobody with this shit... But look, two videos in one post... on my end, this is the last of the four loko talk for me. I got bigger fish to fry. My money says they find a way to ban it and some representative will get cheap votes. Bush league shit. Pun intended. And allowing this to happen is going to set a really shitty precedent that will affect an issue in the future that probably had nothing to do with four loko... This is the type of prophylactic bullshit that has made NY wack. Come through Thursday, we'll still be serving four loko at xiao ye but with a special that is in line with the SLA's laws. To my knowledge, we are still the only bar in NYC that serves four loko and we'll do it until we can't.



FYI: here is the facebook event for four loko thursdays http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=169412316419997 ... join the xiao ye group if you get a chance! @GeneralLoko on twitter... some fool stole @eddiehuang when I switched last week haha.

On My NY Shit

If you on ur new york shit, download The Wellington Papers: New York Times Mixtape

The kid wouldn't send u wrong...

New Menu Pricing

Here is the new menu. It is shorter than before because we'll have multiple specials each day. Fried pork chops, okra stew, curry chicken on rice, etc. The goal was to give portions/prices that work for the neighborhood. In and out for under $15 and that's with a beer or four loko haha. Brunch, all items except the grand slam are $12 or less and include a drink. See u around.

Offer You Can't Refuse

Look. When shawties need inspirations, they watch Clueless. When chinkstronauts need advice, we watch the Godfather. All three parts. Consecutively. And then try not to laugh hysterically when Sophia Coppola gets blasted and tries to be dramatic. Please bitch... Your acting is worse than my steamed cabbage. Fucking Coppola... Fucking Sifton (still luv u... no homillz)... Fucking cabbage... I liked the cabbage but it was pretty unanimous that I was out of my mind.

That reminds me, Mean Girls/Clueless is on special at itunes. Rick Ross says: Wasting Money Fast.

So, after watching the Godfather, talking to staff, reading yelp reviews (yea, we needed the roor for that), and listening to recent customers, we came to some conclusions.

1) People liked - minced pork on rice, beef noodle soup, potstickers, hainan chicken, general tso's head on prawns, bean paste noodles, loco moco, fried pork chop, cheeto chicken, new short ribs, tofu bricks, and my mom. Note: Mom dukes is in the house all week. Eatocracy (CNN) will be in the joint Thursday.

2) They didn't like: cabbage, the old beef ribs (which got changed), overly sweet cocktails, grilled corn (cause got overcooked at times), snow pea shoots were inconsistent, and the prices.

3) The primary complaint was that we kept changing the menu and that on return visits certain things weren't available. Additionally, parties of 2 felt it was difficult to taste more than 3 items without dropping $30+.

This is what we're doing.

We are going to increase portion sizes AND have individual portions for things like potstickers, head on prawns, bean paste noodles, minced pork on rice, etc. We're adopting the old Chinatown "on rice" and "small plate" price structure. It's an offer you can't refuse. Same quality, same la frieda meat, all the shenanigans out the door. We'll have a lot of specials, but the core of the menu will be consistent. And honestly, at the end of the day, what's so wrong with getting a beer and 8 duroc pork potstickers for $12? Or a bowl of beef noodle soup and beer for $11 on your way home from work? Its very simple yall. Little Taipei above Houston. No tomfoolery. Yea, tomfoolery, that's an SAT word I just dropped on u and this aint even my first language. Touchdown. Here is the new menu.

Lastly, this crazy Pastry Chef, LaToya Jenkins, who moonlights as a valtrax dealer for my boy woody sent me a photo of her funfetti cake.

I wouldn't eat this shit again while Wearing Sunglasses at Night on Ramadan. Yes, Lil B, you need a song named "Wearing Sunglasses at Night on Ramadan".

Killa Cam came to brunch for Halloween.

Killa: Baby girl, keep ya hands off my minks

Girl: Damn, that's the realest since kumbaya

Killa: Go get ya wet wipes

BRUNCH @ XY

Loco Moco above, brunch menu below. We open at 11am Saturday and Sunday, service ends at 4pm and dinner starts at 6. I'll be there ... in costume. Let's go hard in the paint.

MORNING AFTER

Prescription Meds

Rice Porridge - 12 - provides soothing relief via pork sung, silken tofu, scallions, pickles, radish, fried fish cake and sunny side up soy egg

Spicy Beef Noodle Soup - 12 - a spicy short rib based remedy commonly siphoned into the eyes of Taiwanese children if they get A-’s. 

Pork Chop Noodle Soup - 12 - Who needs tussin? Pour some pork chop noodle soup on it. 

Loco Moco - 13 - imported from Hawaii. This cure for the common gang bang comes with a 6oz Pat La Frieda Burger topped with sweet chili gravy, sunny side up egg, cilantro, and a bed of rice.

Grand Slam - 16 - more problems than a little bit? Get the grand slam which includes your choice of fried chicken or pork chop served with XY Hash, Red Sausage Gravy, and sunny side up soy egg.

Taiwanese Flat Booty Cakes - 12 - like secretary booty, but topped with spicy lychee condensed milk syrup, whipped cream, and crushed peanuts

Red Bean Cakes - 12 - like above but filled with red bean and topped with condensed milk syrup, whipped cream, and crushed peanuts

Over the Counter

Mantoast w/ sweet chili compound butter    5

XY Hash w/ or w/o red sausage                     5

Fried Fish Cake                                                 3

Red Sausage Link                                            3

Bao Fries w/ condensed milk (plain or ovaltine) 6

Soy Sauce Egg                                             2

Rice Balls                                                      3

pork chop noodle soup

Rice Porridge before the sunny side up egg... you can get your eggs over easy, but much butter sunny side up so you can mix the yolk with everything

Wit sunny side up

Look Mom! I read Thomas Keller and strained my shit! Spicy Beef Noodle Soup

Southern Foodways Pt. 2... warning: stupidity ahead

Yall remember Robby from post 1... aka the dude I prepped with for about 10 hours. Yea... its a problem. If you haven't been to Southern Foodways, you gotta go. You can feel real smart in the morning listening to symposiums, you can feel real good eating food, then you can feel real stupid at night eating chicken on a stick at 3am bombed out of ur gourd. For chicken, being on a stick is the shit. Its like being on a boat for humans. STUNT.

I blame Kat Kinsman for all this. She gave me Rye that I made a John Daly (1/2 rye 1/2 sweet tea) with and obliterated myself.

Someone else wrote that...

Chicken on a stick... so nasty. But would I do it again? Yes. Kaitlyn, does chicken on a stick make it onto tasting table? haha.

Checkin out the pit that they roasted the cow heads in.

Jim n Nicks! These guys are the shit. Check em out in Alabama. They had one of the best things I ate all weekend. Tongue tacos on homemade tortillas with salsa verde, pickled vegetables, and other dope shit. Dan Latham was helping them out. He is the business.

Ready, set, GO haha. Me and @bigbadchef chopping shitake mushrooms. Was a lot of fun cooking in the Armory kitchen with dudes 20 years deep in the game like John. This chinaman's got a lot to learn...

Gulf shrimp in the tilt skillet. Mad fun cooking with this thing. We dropped 50lbs of shrimp and it was done in literally 6 minutes.

Zha Jiang SCRIMPS

We didn't have a steamer, no problem. Resourceful Whiteboys, Inc. hooked up the tilt skillet with 4 coffee cups, a wire rack, and we stacked 300 baos in it.

Chillin with the prep team at City Grocery... the dude to my right was HILARIOUS. Part time rapper, full time daddy LOL. We served the zha jiang gulf shrimp bacon baos for brunch. We stay makin hit records...

BBB Bacon

And that's all she wrote... we out. Oxford, great place to visit.

Southern Foodways Weekend Pt. 1

First we went to Memphis and saw that God had a child with New York and this is what happened... Statue of Liberty Christ. Throw out your Jesus Pieces yall... this is that new unbelievable hot shit.

My new favorite writer, Francis Lam, got his "to wong foo" on in this photo... no homillz. Cookies, 2% milk, and ur favorite rapper's favorite civil rights leaders all at Makeda's Butter Cookies. ASAP we are going to put photos of Chinese/Taiwanese Leaders up at XY. Genghis Khan, Confucius, Wong Fei Hong, and William Hung. Only the best.

The girls at Payne's BBQ let me rock in the kitchen. Was fun playing with a mop full of bbq sauce.

Quiet... I'm eating a smoked sausage... pause... So, one thing to note about BBQ joints. Just cause it's a good bbq joint doesn't mean ERRYTHING is gonna be good. Ask the people eating, ask the cooks, not all cuts are created equal. For instance, at Payne's steer clear of the ribs, go smoked sausage, chopped pork, and baked beans. Judge the joint on what they do well or don't judge at all...

mmMMMmmm ... probably best fried chicken i've ever had. For real... I can't think of any better besides Bonchon and the first time I had blue ribbon. And that new hot shit i'm dropping at brunch BONG. @stax199 red wings and four stroke... its a movment

Family meal

And then there was Oxford, MS... Just a heads up, we ate fried chicken ERRYDAY of the trip so be ready. This is BIG BAD BREAKFAST owned by John Currence. As one of the locals said, "Boi, its FIYAH". Burger with bacon bits, biscuits with 3 gravies and sunny side up eggs, coca cola brined fried chicken with grits. Boy, you been goin through my rhyme book like Fat Joe? Haha. All the cool kids are cookin' with cola.

Oh and the homie Kirk told me BBB used to be a tanning salon so they kept the shower and put charcuterie in it... I like.

Before this cow died it whispered to me, "eat more chikin..." - chik fil a cow

This was an ill recipe. The JimnNick's crew put the cow heads in burlap sacks and cooked them for 18 hours underground, then pulled the meat and put it in tortillas. 

Eddie!!!!!! "John, I swear, I'm not high. You can trust me on the mandoline."

Whippin work... hallelujah

Dropped catfish all over myself... but i do have a cool naughty band on lol @kashiasage

So they scheduled me for execution... ami two fwo

And then we went to Taylor... Mississippi... great place to visit

P.S. Hyun comin hard with the photos 

Like Elevators... if u don't move yo feet, then I don't eat, so we like neck to neck...

Robby "Grasshopper" Melvin... I'll make a chinaman out of you boy! haha. Robby CRUSHED it on the wok. Worked with him all weekend. This dude can cook. Salt Fine Catering in Birmingham, AL. If you don't know, now you know.

Western Chinese Catfish Fry... I marinated Catfish in egg whites and spices. We stir fried it with chilis, szechuan peppercorns, cumin seeds, garlic, salt, and fresh cilantro to top. Take that, take that, take that.

We cheffin...

I love Senor Edge! The dude that brought me to Mississippi. Thanks homie. Pt. 2 later tonight includes gas station pimpin, chicken on a stick, and lots of other tomfoolery.