Kamis, 09 Februari 2012

Baohaus is for the Children


So in between providing 24/7 coverage of Jeremy Lin, running miles in soft sand, and eating boxes of bullets, I taught kids how to make cold pressed juice. A few months ago, I went to the Eater Awards looking for _ _ _ (insert farm tool), but instead found a great non-profit: Wellness in the Schools (@WITSinschools and @This_isawkward). Pretty much the opposite of _ _ _, but equally important to society. I adopted P.S. 112 in Harlem because its near Original Patsy's and all the ill Cuchifritos.

Wellness is dope. I remember in high school all I ate were jamaican beef patties and 2% chocolate milk. If I got sick of beef patties, we ate Papa John's pizza. I blame Papa John's Pizza for making me skip school because I wanted to put on my Power Rangers Pajamas and go back to sleep after eating that stuff. Isn't that what you did when you skipped school?

Anyway, I figured the best way to get kids the nutrition they needed was cold pressed juice. If you use combinations like: Pineapple, Kale, Cucumber, Lime, and Ginger, it will get you most of the leafy green nutrients you need, vitamin c, bromelain, and immunity from the ginger. We have a huge problem with wellness in schools right now and if we could get programs like cold pressed juice into school, I think it'd severely decrease instances of childhood obesity, diabetes, etc. I urge companies like Norwalk, Omega, Champion, etc. to team up with schools, donate the equipment and let's get on our representatives to provide the funds to purchase fresh produce instead of canned juices, sodas, etc. The food revolution requires systematic change. Imagine this... Look how McDonald's changed the entire food system to service their restaurants and proliferate the most harmful unbanned substances we know. The only way to fight back is to create markets for new systemic change... stay with me.

The government would basically be subsidizing local farms by buying all produce for schools from within 150 miles. We wouldn't need to give tax breaks, money, etc. just BUY the things you would normally buy from local farms. Maybe there are organizational issues? Fine, form a union farmers, negotiate across the line prices, and make it easy for the government to patronize your establishments. Then, eliminate sugary drinks, sodas, etc. and make your own bottled cold pressed juice using machines that places like Norwalk, Omega, Champion donate. NOW, why would these people donate? BECAUSE, food is habit. If we get kids hooked on something good like cold pressed juice instead of four loko (that can had all the kids mesmerized), they will then integrate it into their lives outside of school. What better promotion for your juicers sold for personal consumption than every day use in schools. Guys, urban planning is not that difficult. DO THIS NOW.

While I sell pork belly baos for your enjoyment, I personally drink cold pressed juice twice a day. Food is cool, it's definitely important to eat for pleasure, but equally to balance it out. We make cold pressed ginger soda at Baohaus cause that's what I drink when I'm under the weather. Fresh ginger juice, mixed with a little rock candy is better than emer-gen-c. Hopefully, if we get more space, we can do other juices too but Mama didn't raise no fool. Yall don't love me for my tiger style or my cold pressed juice, you just want my pork buns... It's cool, I still love u...

Taiwanese Tebow


Yo, before all yall got on the bandwagon I BEEN following Lin since Harvard, since he boogied on John Wall, and every time he was a free agent I prayed to all my village ancestors that the Taiwanese Tebow would come to NY. I seen it like a zenith. RESPECT MY MIND. I'm talkin to you @howardbeckNYT NYT Article

Les Carpenter - Yahoo Article



SHARK BITIN NINJAS

Selasa, 07 Februari 2012

Thank You, Jeremy Lin


There are three magazine covers I'll always remember. AI with the blow out and retro sixers jersey on the cover of SLAM (what up @microtony), Obama on the cover of Newsweek December 2006, and Yao on the cover of ESPN in 2000. I still remember the day I got it in the mail... Thoughts rushed through my head. Was ESPN gonna give him props or were they going to reveal he was a genetically engineered government project with fake papers, Pekingese Potstickers, and an affinity for lead based bubble tea?

If it were up to me, Yao would have had neck tattoos, nike boots, and a harem of shawties from 2 Fast 2 Furious throwing lotus leaves on the ground every where he walked. It wasn't meant to be, but Jeff Van Gundy and I couldn't have asked for more. Yao exceeded every one's expectations, not just as a role model for Planet Asia, but as a figure who's integrity transcended values particular to ethnicity. In any language, culture, or creed, Yao Ming was an exceptional human being; we were just lucky to call him ours. Yao was the most influential Asian in America since Bruce Lee who schooled Jabbar, married a White woman, and kicked the shit out of Chuck Norris.



Bruce was the hardest Asian we've seen in America. He was threatening, defiant, and somehow got brothers in Harlem to rock cotton shoes for most of the 70s. I mean, son did so many dips that he literally looked like a flying squirrel with slanted eyes.


If you go to China or ask the Hoyas, they'll tell you, Bruce Lee wasn't something they hadn't seen. There were Kung-Fu masters before, during, and after Bruce's reign, but he benefitted from Hollywood like Jordan capitalized on the cable era. Bruce was an imported archetype that got injected into America's DNA and we loved him for it.

As a kid who spent Middle School downloading .gifs from AOL chat rooms onto 3.5" diskettes and selling them for $5 to kids under the thumb of parent controls, I was more Larry Flynt than Yao Ming. Yao was the anti-Bruce Lee: an obedient, loyal, 7'6" company man in a league grappling with free agency and NBA wives. What's more Asian than that? Yao didn't break a single stereotype, he perpetuated all of them, but surprisingly... I wasn't mad. For the first time in my life, Yao made me proud of the way my parents raised me. I always thought they were archaic, old fashioned, and stubborn, but Yao was a living, breathing, example of the kind of person our parents wanted us to be. And you know what, that mother fucker was ill. If I had half the balls Yao did, I'd be him too but instead, I'm a irreverent, lazy, loud mouthed, chinkstronaut who justifies his existence by sending Judith Lieber bags home to my Mom. Hey, if it was good enough for the gold rush FOBs, it's good enough for me. #GoldenMountain

Yao was the rare individual that still believed in Confucius' China. In China these days, you see the angst, the rebellion, and the Kobe Bryant jerseys. People rep AI, Kobe, and now Starbury. Since Tank Man stood against the country in 1989, few of us could honestly defend China with a straight face. For years, it felt like there was a weekly article attacking Chinese in America, Chinese in Detroit, or Chinese in China. We couldn't just be smart, it had to be the green tea. Every job we took at Ford was a job we stole from Americans. China couldn't industrialize like the West because the West already destroyed the environment and wanted to tell China how to do it this time around. I remember being in class trying to find any semblance of reason in China's Tibet policy, but knowing deep down that there was no way to defend the country. Why was I anyway? My parents were born in Taiwan.

I defended China because no one at the basketball court ever called me "Taiwanese", they called me a "chink". I was Chinese whether I liked it or not. In America, it really doesn't matter if you think you're Taiwanese, Colombian, Peruvian, Dominican, Vietnamese, Korean, or Japanese: we're all chinks and Mexicans to the untrained eye. I had no choice or way to reason because there were no examples outside Bruce, Yao, Long Duck Dong, and William Hung. Chun-Li and Raiden were dope, but they existed only in 64-bit fantasy worlds where we can take down giant Russians like Zangieff with blue fireballs. This is the Chinese American landscape because they are the only archetypes America has seen.


Then this came along: Jeremy mother fuckin' Lin. For 29 years, I've been waiting to see a Chinaman on television that speaks English with some cot damn bass. He's not some uncoordinated, slow footed, giant in the style of Yao, Wang, or Mengke Bateer, who I swear must be Mongolian. Watching him drop 28 and 8, you can't believe it's happening. His teammates are stuck between cheering and laughing. He's not leaping over cars like Blake Griffin or wetting people from the volleyball line like Ray Allen, he's playing under the rim, 18 ft and in, just like every one else at the YMCA. Lin plays like a slower, shorter, Manu Ginobili splitting double-teams like a yard sale flailing arms and legs to get the And-1 calls. He celebrates, he drinks gatorade, and he crashes on his friend, Landry Fields', couch. Shit, he might have even gone to Prom! Jeremy Lin is for all intensive purposes: normal...

It doesn't matter that Lin doesn't have a jumper, loves Jesus, or has that strange country twang to his words. He's just like you, he's a little like me, but most importantly he proves we're not all from another planet without google, facebook, or properly spelled bathroom signage. Some of us were born right fucking here and have nothing to do with things like this:


He may not realize it, but by not claiming "Chineseness" or embracing his rabid Asian fan base, he is doing more for us than anyone at this moment can. Jeremy Lin might be the first normal Asian America has seen and it's fucking great. He's not famous because he ran around with a rice pecker in the Hangover. He's not famous because Ari treats him like a Eunuch. Nor is he famous for singing "She Bangs". He doesn't have to act a fool to get on TV because he balls so hard mother fuckers can't find him. Lin is saving the Knicks with super-human play, but he's dispelling myths about Asian America by being otherwise hyper-normal and I thank him. He doesn't have a duty to embrace Asian America, speak for Asian America, or represent Asian America because right now he IS Asian America. Go to Church, drink that blue shit, but don't you ever, ever, ever, stop being the normal-ass Taiwanese-American you are.

Senin, 06 Februari 2012

Rabu, 18 Januari 2012

Dustin Eats...


My boy Dustin INVENTED Studio Booth a lot of people shark bite the kid but "Nobody beats the wiz..." He be on the road a lot and sends photos of food. He says this is the best meal he's ever had. Oklahoma Joe's. No Williamsburg BBQ prices here, $13 all-in. Talk amongst yaselves...

Adidas Chinese New Year


So, this may be confusing.

Adidas Dinner the 23rd is fully booked... stop textin me, yall birds know who you eeeeiiiisss. BUT if you didn't get seats for the 23rd, we got 8 to 12 left for the 24th. If that isn't your flow, then we STILL got somethin for that ass. Adidas Chinese New Year Party the night of the 23rd. Open Ciroc Bar from 10 to 11pm.

All your favorite downtown NY hosts in the house: Max Koshkerman, Simonez Wolf, and of course James Cruickhlasufoiajslkdghsaljfank. Catch me by the COCONUT CIROC! CIROC BOY IS IN THE BUILDING

Selasa, 17 Januari 2012

We Fux Wit Lana Del Rey



Yo, just on some real quick shit I want to say this Lana Del Rey hate is bullshit. I fux with Juliette Lewis, but come on, you like 13 years older than this girl. And Eliza Dushku?

"Who.....is.....this wack-a-doodle chick performing on #SNL..? Whaaaa?" - Dushku

When your best work was Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back you kinda don't have anything to stand on. The nicest thing I can say about Dushku is "Nice Tits" and shouts to being Albanian. I fux with Action Bronson.

This is how I see the whole Lana Del Rey thing. She's ILL. 20 Million people wouldn't be watching her videos if it sucked. The people hating are the ones that don't like her style, Brian Williams-types calling her a hipster, and every one that likes to see artists eat shit, catch herpes, and get shelved multiple times before ever having an album go gold. Look, some people got to play the NIT, D-League, and then pray to make training camp. I get that a lot of you had to pay dues. IT'S CAUSE YOU'RE A NO TALENT ASS-CLOWN. If you are talented like this chick, you get SNL before you have a record out. We're all seeing Lana a bit early, but we know that. We know she hasn't been doing bullshit gigs at Mercury Lounge since the late 90s. Her rise is meteoric and we're going to see her growing pains on front st but its because so many people fux with her NOT because she's not good enough. Every one trying to bury this girl on one performance is jealous or some tired chick with nice tits.

I'm telling you. When shawty's album drops this week, it's over. I guarantee you all eat your words. We out, happy chinese new year BLAP BLAP BLAP



And for the record, people that still use the word "hipsters" are ass backwards. That movement is over. We already kicked the shit out of those fools and took their clothes. This opening ceremony shit looks good on the kid. BLAP BLAP BLAP.

Senin, 16 Januari 2012

Baohaus 3rd Annual Chinese New Years Dinner

A few months into opening Baohaus on Rivington, we hosted our first Chinese New Years dinner. We invited friends and family from the neighborhood for a cramped but fun night. Eddie messed around and somehow managed to bang out 5 or 6 courses from that easy bake kitchen of ours. The food wasn't ground breaking but we popped mad bottles of Maotai Bai Jiu and the energy and love was beyond dope. First time customers from that dinner are today some of our best friends. Check out pics and our post about the dinner here. It was a special night that we won't ever forget and ever since we've marked Chinese New Years on our calendars as one of our most anticipated days of the year.

Last year we held the dinner at No. 7 in Fort Greene,BK with our boy Tyler Kord Click here for Sam Sifton's NYT Review of last year's dinner.

This year, it's the year of the Dragon and we are celebrating in grand fashion with one of our biggest dinners yet. On Tuesday, January 24th, we will be hosting our 3rd Annual Chinese New Years dinner at LTO (171 East Broadway, formerly B.East). The menu features brand new dishes that Eddie has been working on in anticipation for this dinner. Don't miss it!


Seating is limited so RESERVE NOW.
To secure seats for you and your guests, email us at reservations@baohausnyc.com with your name, phone #, guest count, and a credit card to secure the reservation.

Seatings are available between 7:00pm to 9:30pm but spots are filling up fast.

Happy New Years! Gong Xi Fa Cai, Xing Nian Kuai Le!
Hope to see you there!

Evan

Masaryk by Nike


Last week, the homie Damien Bulluck gave me a pass to Masaryk, the new gym that Nike Basketball built in the LES. For real, it is the illest gift anyone has ever hit the kid off with. Not only does it solve the problem of basketball in the dead of NYC winter, but they hooked it up with hyper dunks...


A shooting machine...


A NBA trainer...


AND A NEW JUMPER. WHAT UP TONY DOUGLAS? IMA TAKE UR SPOT ON THE BENCH SON.


After the initial run is over, Nike's giving the court to the neighborhood so Masaryk is definitely getting hooked up too. #MakeItCount . Shouts to Game 7, Damian, Susana, Kristen, you already know!

Jumat, 06 Januari 2012

For those without Cooking Channel!



For all yall without Cooking Channel, the show is up on youtube now. Peep it! My favorite segment is above. Here are the others:







Thanks to John T, John Jay, and all the restaurants that let me come tell Ike Turner jokes.

Senin, 02 Januari 2012

NYE @ THE ACE


If you ever throw a 'tel-ly party, go Room 1011. Undefeated. Don't say I didn't tell you... Shouts to Steven Lau for all the photos. Peace to all the gods that threw down on the room and booze: Sparkz, Steve, Raf, Berto, Doug Life, and of course Phil "I Invited Every NY'er with Adobe Illustrator" Chang. Sorry to all the homies that didn't get in. Line was crazy out front for the room, but I told yall to come early and sneak through your choice of April Bloomfield Restos! FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS B.


Pa-pa-pa-PARTY SUPPLIES!!!


Phil, why you showin me this amazon.com card b? You know I only fux with that black and platinum shit. We gon get that crunchy jump all of his lump! Look how excited Dustin was to get up in Phil's wallet. I like the hunger kid, let's keep that goin in 2012!!! WILD GREMLINS WE HONGRY WIT A "O".


Andy was holdin' court on some storytellin' PDX Magellan shit. I see u cousin! Tell em why you mad son!


Every one's favorite, Kerin Rose, came through with the newest illest in Stark Industries. I SEEN IT LIKE A ZENITH, HER DRESS TO FUTURISTIC FOR YALL!


You know it wasn't a party without that hen-rock so I had to call the #1 HENNY REPRESENTER, Cat Ahn.


Every party Cat go to she bring two things: Henn Rock and SUe Kang. If I was a travel agent, I would put this poster up with the caption "Shawties exquisite... Korea, great place to visit."


Then we all waited for the ball to drop. Phil looked real scurred in the back surrounded by drunk people haha


Then all hell broke loose and ur boy went beast mode. Every thing got sprayed. MEGA PAUSE


Once the clock struck 12, Eric's girls all broke out in mustaches!


Zombies appeared.


Asians perpetuated stereotypes by lighting fireworks IN THE JOINT. (note to the hotel: I did not authorize this, but I did accidentally enjoy it very much.)


Someone drank my Moet! FYI, if you at a party and you see like 20 bottles of Andre and one bottle of moet, that shit is most likely not for you. It's not that good, but I'm just sayin... It's not andre.


Ekaterina AKLDJFSOIULAKJ brought all her fly friends from Kamchatka. LOVE U BOO.


Kenzo came with that combo #5 crispy 'LO Sweater game


Larry and the Pipitones


Nia and Samantha doin what they always do... STUNTIN IS A HABIT


"What am I gonna do Dougie? Go down to Margaritaville? Drink half a yard and fall off of barstools?"


The Jewish Delegation was in the house. Who Cam best friend? MY ATTORNEY!


Berto brought a bunch of dudes that still shop at Structure. HAHAHA


Quagmire found love.


And we out... Thanks to the Ace... sorry about the mess :)


RACK CITY BITCH