HEAT v. Mavs

no photos cause im in a rush...

I'm taking the Heat in 7. Why? Because I think the Heat with the resurgence of Haslem and Miller finally have a unit in the last 6 minutes of the 2nd quarter and 4th quarter to close out. The problem with the Heat all season has been the inability to get 5 people on the floor at once who have to be defended. That unit is also rebounding. The Bulls in my opinion have a better defense than the Mavs, yet, the Heat were able to execute in the half-court when they needed to even with a lackluster Dwayne Wade for 3 games.

Now, the Mavs are a different story. They have the best team offense in the NBA. Watching them against OKC, who many considered to have the most offensive firepower in the playoffs, was a joke. OKC, like Miami, is a team the depends heavily on isolation. The problem for the Thunder was that Durant was aggressive for two games and part of game 4. The rest of the time, he didn't actively come to the ball. A lot of people blame Westbrook, but I saw a very stagnant offense that didn't move and Westbrook was forced to go one on one many times. The Mavs did a great job controlling the paint, closing out, and keeping Westbrook out of the paint although he did get them in transition.

The Mavs offense is very reminiscent of the old Adelman Kings or Trailblazers. Not that they play Princeton, but I have never seen a team move the ball as well and as much. There's almost no dribbling and picture perfect basketball. They are very difficult to defend because the offensive angles are constantly changing and defenders get caught in the wrong positions. OKC also allowed Dirk to go one on one with Ibaka and Collison, which is what the Heat should do with Haslem or Bosh on Dirk. Play him one on one, don't foul and let him get his buckets. But, do NOT leave Terry, Kidd, or Marion and make sure to box out Chandler.

I am taking the Heat because I think they are capable of turning Dallas into an isolation team, which is not their strength. They are not going to win on Dirk's back, their strength is team basketball. The Heat's biggest weakness is in the paint and at PG. Joel Anthony is giving it his all, but Tyson Chandler will have his way. That said, the Mavs are a much less aggressive front line and Bosh should have more success on the glass. Miller/Haslem should also be able to get boards and make up for Chandler's advantage over Anthony.

The one guy who I think will light the Heat up is Jose Juan Barea. He's the one guy on the Mavs that the Heat just can't match up with. I'm guessing that Carlisle will deploy him when Wade is on the bench and they are forced to play Chalmers/Bibby. The difference is going to become, can Terry/Barea get the Mavs such a cushion at the beginning of the 2nd and 4th quarters that Bron/Wade/Bosh can't make up for in the end of the 2nd and 4th?

We know that Wade, Bron, Bosh, Nowitzki, Terry are going to get theirs. The question comes down to the Bareas, Stevensons, Haslems and Millers of the world. First bench player to 15 probably wins it for his team each night. I think that Haslem/Miller/Bibby/Chalmers will get the Heat just enough (25 to 30 a game) to win because the Mavs can't match up one on one with the big 3. Kidd will do his best and limit Wade, but Terry is their second best offensive player and he's gonna get lit up defensively. There is no one in the world who can guard Bron and Bosh will keep it close enough with Nowitzki because Dirk actually plays into some of Bosh's strengths by being more of a perimeter player. Keep the Mavs under 100, keep Dirk under 28, Heat win.

PARTY AND BLUE CRABS

It's gonna be LIVE. We bringin' blue crabs and all that other game to East Broadway. Your boi boi Elliot Aronow aka The Hair will be hosting, Prince Language with the heat rocks, and I'll be by the bar. No cover, no bullshit, just some mother fuckers who wanna party. AIIITTEEE?

Shouts to Our Show and No Comprendo/DFA

Food Gold Video Party: Loco Moco with Eddie Huang and Ninjasonik from Mr Goldbar on Vimeo.

BLUE CRAB DINNER AT LTO

Starting Friday, I'll be at LTO doing a blue crab dinner. It's gonna be dope. I did the dinner just like we would at home, but with some new additions. Spring/Summer we always bring icebox duck wings with us fishing, crabbing, or barbecues. They are braised duck wings that get chilled in the fridge overnight cause they taste better cold. The skin gets a real interesting texture.

Fried Oyster Po Baos w/ red sausage pate is something we've been doing at Baohaus the last few weeks. It sounds crazy, but it's the bao as usual with a fried oyster getting the same prep as our chicken but it's topped with pickled radish/carrots as opposed to the haus relish. More sweetness and acidity that way.

Hunan ham hock w/ stir fried leeks is a classic dish, but nothing goes better with blue crab than corn so we take fresh corn kernels and throw them in the mix. Smoky, a little spicy, and sweet.

This sounds like a fusion dish, but it's not. Cajun and Taiwanese people both make sausages out of rice. For Cajuns it's boudin, for Taiwanese people it's a sticky rice in casing. We're going to do the sticky rice sausage with some pork butt, liver, sticky rice, and serve it with homemade sweet chili sauce.

Other highlights for me are the Gator Tail, which is something we grew up eating in Florida and the FOB chicken. It's a half roasted chicken seasoned with sichuan peppercorns, anise, ginger, salt and pepper, then served with skin crisped from hot infused oil.

Champong

I fux with this republican

Things I Saw

Damn, Bulls took it to the Heat. This is going to be an interesting series. We all know Spoelstra's a biscuit, but I'm sure Pat Riley will give him the gameplan for game 2. If Miami makes the right adjustments, this is going to be fun. The Bulls are winning with discipline and spacing. This post is mainly about what the Heat can do in Game 2 because they played stupid basketball and it pisses me off. The Bulls are winning as a team, but I think if the Heat play smart and utilize their advantages, they can win. Here's what I saw:

1) The Bulls Defense is moving as a unit. These guys play man-to-man, but it almost looks like a zone. Whoever the defender in the corner is, whether it's Korver, Brewer, or Deng, they are helping on penetration and forcing the ball out of Bron/Wade's hands. When Bron/Wade drive, they're running into Noah or Boozer in the middle and then the corner defender. It's like a triangle following them.

2) Bulls Adjustment - In the 2nd half, the Bulls best adjustment was that the on-ball defender played slightly off. They didn't go for shot fakes like they did in the first half and dared the Heat to shoot. If Bron/Wade drove, then they ran into the triangle.

3) Taj Gibson/Joakim Noah - these guys are taking away the Heat pick-n-roll. It's hard to believe, but the Bulls gameplan is to SWITCH the pick-n-rolls and they're ok with sticking their big men on Wade/Bron cause they can stay with them.

4) Heat Not Closing Out - while the Bulls play airtight-D, the Heat aren't even closing out on 3's. I understand Bibby/Chalmers giving Rose space to shoot 3's because you'll take that. If Derek Rose wants to chuck 3's that's great, if he makes them, you live with it. But Luol Deng should not be getting a free pass on the 3point line. You HAVE to step up and make him drive, then you have to know your rotations. The Heat are not coached well at all, the big men don't know their rotations. I know Jamaal Magliore hasn't played much, but dude, you've played 90 games already, you should fucking know your rotation responsibilities.

5) Bron Needs to Attack - Once you let the Bulls defense set up, you've lost. It's almost like playing a zone because they move as a unit defensively. Their strength is help defense. Bron is getting the ball early in the clock, but he's surveying too much. You're not going to out smart the Bulls D, your advantage is athleticism, so, get the ball early in the clock and attack the defense before it's set. Even on made buckets, get down the floor and attack the defense. Bron likes to take what the defense gives him and pass the ball. You'll see all the time, Bron is very cerebral, he reads the defense, threads the needle and gets Bosh a bucket, but that's what Chicago wants him to do. He needs to sometimes force the defense to stop him, even if Gibson blocks his shot. It's almost like he stopped going to the bucket after being blocked. He needs to try and overpower that defense. He's a great player, he can do it.

6) In the Half-Court - Bron plays the two-man game with Bosh better than Wade. So, Wade should be the one coming off screens and pulling up for 13 to 18 footers. The rest of the Heat just aren't very good players, Wade needs to be more selfish and shoot off the screens. Once the defense adjusts and tries to trap him off screens, that's when things will open up below. When Bosh gets the ball at the elbows, Wade needs to cut hard off the wing or from the corner.

7) Play Mike Miller and James Jones - Look, Miller has been cold for a while, but this is the playoffs. You see people come out of nowhere all the time and surpass their season averages because the playoffs are about match-ups. Barkley was saying they should play Chalmers more to speed up the offense, but I disagree. The Heat aren't getting transition buckets from the point guard pushing the ball a la 2005 nash or chris paul today. They are getting buckets from outlet passes to Wade/Bron or from turnovers. Play Mike Miller and James Jones because then you have a chance of making Chicago pay off their help. You have to force their defenders to play alone. They beat you as a team so the goal is to make them play like individuals. If Miller and Jones can make Deng, Gibson, or Noah stay at home and drag them out of the paint, then things open up for Bron and Wade driving to the bucket. AND, if you replace the point guards with wing players, you're not going small! You're going big and also getting better shooters on the floor. Play a little triangle style ball like the Lakers.

8) Play Less Chalmers/Bibby - You're playing into the Chicago defense every time one of these guys touches the ball. Chalmers/Bibby both turn the ball over too much and they are easy to close out on because they're short. With Miller/Jones, even if you do close out, they can get their shots off. The ball should be in Bron's hand or in Wade's off screens and in iso's. Surround them with shooters so that you can space the floor and eliminate Chicago's help defense. Chalmers/Bibby can not beat anyone one-on-one, they aren't getting the Heat into the offense, and they aren't knock down shooters.

9) Play Udonis Haslem and Joel Anthony more - don't even let magliore off the bench. Rebounds are hitting this guy in the hands and he's letting them go. Anthony was getting killed on the boards today too, but at least he worked and blocked shots. Spoelstra's worst decision was sitting Anthony for an extended period. One of these two should be on the floor at all times.

10) Ideal line-up for Heat

PG: James
SG: Wade
SF: Jones then Miller
PF: Bosh then Haslem
C: Anthony/Haslem/Illgauskas (when healthy)

Sub wise...

When Wade sits, Bron, Jones, Miller, Bosh, Anthony
When Bron sits, Bibby, Wade, Miller, Haslem, Illgauskas - with this line-up, bibby brings up the ball, wade comes off screens so you surround him with big guys who set good screens and can roll for 15-footers. You also buy Bosh minutes here. I think you play Bosh with Lebron more cause they can play pick-n-roll, then Wade can get offense himself off screens. Why Bibby over Chalmers? Because Bibby plays more under control and is the better passer. Chalmers is shooting better, but he isn't patient enough in the half-court. The Bulls play great initial defense, but you have to wait for your stars to get open. Chalmers freestyling or going one-on-one is never a good look. At least Bibby knows to sit on his thumbs and wait to pass.

People gotta realize, Bron prefers to facilitate. He plays smart basketball and doesn't necessarily like to over power defenses even though he can and should more often. Let him play 2 man game with Bosh. Wade is better attacking, coming off screens, and turns the ball over too much when playing the point. Bron also has the better 3-point shot between the two.

11) Put Bron in the Post - If you play Miller/Jones with Bron, you can play inside out. Bron can post his man down low and kick to the shooters. If they stick a big man on bron in the post, he can quickly reverse pivot and face up. There isn't going to be anything easy against the Bulls. The Heat need to call plays, read matchups, and stick to the gameplan. They freestyle way too much.

12) Offense is the Best Defense - look, the Bulls are going to kill the Heat on the glass no matter what, but if you are getting buckets on offense, it let's your defense set up. I don't think there is a solution to the boards. The Bulls are going to have that advantage unless Bosh/Haslem/Anthony play out of their face. I do think playing Jones/Miller/Haslem/Anthony will help. None are great on the glass, but they'll at least get a couple more than Bibby/Chalmers. I DO NOT think the solution is to have Bron/Wade crash. If the Heat are going to win, they need to be on the break. The rest of the Heat players are simply going to have to work harder and get it done on the glass, especially Bosh. Has he ever been a force on the boards? No, but if there was ever a time to step up, it's now.

13) As for the Bulls, don't change a thing. Keep playing D as a unit, let D-Rose initiate, and if you get an open shot on the wing, take it. The Heat are going to adjust, there's going to be more help on Rose. I also doubt Deng goes en fuego again. If the Heat start closing out on Deng, then he's going to need to shot-fake/drive or dump it down low to Boozer/Noah/Gibson. They didn't even really need Boozer tonight so he should get more looks game 2. Korver also stepped up and played well, he'll be a good source of offense if needed. Gibson can also face up Bosh or get his 15-footer whenever he wants it because the Heat will be swarming Rose. They are playing sick team basketball and every one knows their spot on the floor. The Heat need that identity cause right now, they have no gameplan.

So Futuristic

so, reading all these paper tigers articles, i realized some genius published this fantastic article about Chinese Families 5 months ago that kind of still reigns supreme. Damn this chink is so futuristic. "Barry Horowitz rap/i pat myself on the back/dont fake the funk on a nasty dunk/shaq i attack" - action bronson

What Up Nina?

This is how people view Asian Women and Men Differently (you will need this little fact for the letter below)

Yo Nina Shen Rastogi,

I got a google alert for your article about "Paper Tigers" on Slate. I thought to myself, "Must be another fan of my fantastic full page Asian Annie Lennox-esque photo with 24K gold and no shirt on." WOOP. But no, you're looking for needles in a haystack not futuristic chinamen. We're about 2 years from WEB Dubois lifting the veil because we're still jet lagged from casting buckets on Booker T. time. But don't worry, once people forget about Tila Tequilla and The Green Hornet, we should have enough juice to renegotiate our social standing. I think Asian-America is at a juncture where this article could have gone one of two ways. It could have celebrated the recent commercial successes of people like Alexander Wang, Far East Movement (shoot me), the kids on ABDC, Tony Hsieh, etc. We could have declared a coming of age. But, I think Wesley did the right thing. Undersell and over deliver. No chink left behind. Save the fireworks for Chinese New Year.

In corporate America, law firms, accounting firms, Ford, Chevy, and Panda Express, a lot of us still do the heavy lifting w/o really reaping the full benefits. Do I have anything to do with these people? No. Do I care? Yes. Wesley is painting a picture of the present landscape for a large segment of Asians who still struggle. There are plenty of exceptions, but that's not the point. I don't believe that every one should make it their problem, but regardless it will reflect on us collectively.

The solution is not to avoid discussing it. We can believe we're over the hump and assume most people can make distinctions, but until the last ignorant mother fucker in the lunchroom gets it, someone is getting slushied at Mckinley High. Maybe I'm tribal, maybe I shouldn't care, but I can't help that I do. I remember how hard it was to break out and I don't wish it on anyone else. I understand and fully agree that Wesley's article Paper Tigers claims to speak about Asian Americans but doesn't include enough women or simply just Asians who are mother fucking base gods. I digress. According to you,

The problem here isn't that Yang has decided he's most interested in writing about a handful of well educated Asian-American men and about their professional difficulties and sexual shortcomings. It's that he does so while claiming to be writing about 'Asian Americans' as a collective. Yang has made their problems our problems.


Fair enough. You don't want the problems some Asians have to reflect on you simply because you're Asian. I get that. You didn't choose to be Asian, you just are. I felt the same way in High School. I'd see the one or two other Asian kids at school walking around looking at their feet wearing their dad's clothes from the 70s already working on next year's homework. I hated those kids because no matter how different I was, their shit reflected on me. But, I took it on. If people picked on them, I'd say something. If people bump old ladies on Canal St around cause their in a rush, I say something. Do I expect every one to do the same thing? No. Is this obsessive and overbearing on my part? Yes. But at the very least, get off Wesley's back for trying to help out. He's doing something that you don't have the heart to do. It's fine if you want to escape and distance, but don't hate on someone trying to stick around. Yes, he injects his personal story into the article, but that's not indulgent, that's SACRIFICIAL. The man admitted he didn't touch any chocha for like 3 years. Find me one other dude in America who will admit that in NY Mag. Does he then circle back and attribute it to race and cultural conditioning? Yes. Can you honestly disagree? Flushing is full of people who STILL can't find their dicks. They like Roger Dorn. If you told them to get in the game, they couldn't find first base. I believe the saying about stereotypes goes: "Where there's Asian virgins, there's hot pot."

Your main point of contention is simply that Wesley sees race as a contributing factor to these peoples' problems, but you want to disagree about degrees. I believe the technical term for your opinion is that you're being a fucking bitch. It's my turn... This is NY Mag. It's not Slate, it's not The Atlantic, shit it's not even my blog. But it's gotten a lot better. In a few years, Alan Sytsma will be 15, he'll come of age, and NY Mag will be able to compete with Teen People. You been in NY long enough to remember when this thing was one step away from the instruction manual for a coach bag. Cheap, unnecessary, but for some reason young birds loved the shit. Monday, Tuesday shit and by Wednesday it's in the trash, but before it's in the trash A LOT OF PEOPLE READ IT. We could use the exposure. Even if we disagree, at least someone's writing about us. It's a start. Don't fuck it up. And good job on this one NY Mag. I fux wit you.

Frankly, this article isn't even for Asians. It reps Asians, but it's really repeating things we already know. Wesley put his neck out there and wrote an article which peeled back a lot of scabs for most Asian people so that others could listen in. A large segment of our population has gotten over the issues he talks about, but think about the next generation... The kids who are still dealing with it like Jefferson Mao and Daniel Chu. Think about yourself. What articles were available for us to read in the 80s/90s? Who was there to look up to? David Carradine wasn't even fucking Asian! I respect that you are able to parse through his article. You always want to "know thyself", that's the first step, but once you get over it, you tell people. But, the process of telling people is long, arduous, and effective in baby steps. Because we lived it, we can make logical leaps and bounds, but I think Wesley pushed the envelope as far as he could for the forum he had. It's a difficult thing to write one article representing Asian Women and Men together. It's also difficult to identify the problem with enough force while also sharing the success stories. He made choices. Should he have simply changed the title to "Asian American Men"? Yes. I fully AGREE. I'm curious if the editor wrote the headline or Wesley.

I thought a long time about how he possibly could have written this article including Asian men and women, but I think it would have done more harm than good. I can't think of another race in America where the men and women have such distinct and different experiences. Of course, we have our similarities and they come out when we're all at karaoke together, but in mixed race settings, we're at different dinner tables. A lot of it simply comes down to how the majority views us differently. It would be great if another magazine could follow up with how the Asian Female American Experience is different. We can start with some of these differences... Yall get invited to Bar Mitzvahs, we don't. They  didn't make posters of you as monsters with mole-hair growths. Yall don't have to bear the cross of William Hung nearly as much as we do. But in all seriousness, you have it worse. Most Asian parents are ass backward and spoil the sons. Go back a hundred years and Chinamen bound your feet. Asian Men owe you reparations. I would love to see that skit. Bunch of Asian moms with checks running to cupcake shops and baccarat tables with shape-ups on. Love you mom... Until then, She bangs she bangs...



Don't worry Asian people, as long as I'm alive, anyone who talks sideways is gonna need a vest. "From 3 point range wit a blog I shoot better than Kobe." - 50 Renminbi

Paper Tigers

From NY MAG: Paper Tigers

This article was crazy. Gave me goosebumps. Read it from start to finish. It really should be enjoyed that way. But, for those afflicted with ADD, this is the excerpt about your boy boy.

You don’t, by the way, have to be a Silicon Valley hotshot to break through the Bamboo Ceiling. You can also be a chef like Eddie Huang, whose little restaurant on the Lower East Side, BaoHaus, sells delicious pork buns. Huang grew up in Orlando with a hard-core Tiger Mom and a disciplinarian father. “As a kid, psychologically, my day was all about not getting my ass kicked,” he says. He gravitated toward the black kids at school, who also knew something about corporal punishment. He was the smallest member of his football team, but his coach named him MVP in the seventh grade. “I was defensive tackle and right guard because I was just mean. I was nasty. I had this mentality where I was like, ‘You’re going to accept me or I’m going to fuck you up.’ ”

Huang had a rough twenties, bumping repeatedly against the Bamboo Ceiling. In college, editors at the Orlando Sentinel invited him to write about sports for the paper. But when he visited the offices, “the editor came in and goes, ‘Oh, no.’ And his exact words: ‘You can’t write with that face.’ ” Later, in film class at Columbia, he wrote a script about an Asian-American hot-dog vendor obsessed with his small penis. “The screenwriting teacher was like, ‘I love this. You have a lot of Woody Allen in you. But do you think you could change it to Jewish characters?’ ” Still later, after graduating from Cardozo School of Law, he took a corporate job, where other associates would frequently say, “You have a lot of opinions for an Asian guy.”

Finally, Huang decided to open a restaurant. Selling food was precisely the fate his parents wanted their son to avoid, and they didn’t talk to him for months after he quit lawyering. But Huang understood instinctively that he couldn’t make it work in the professional world his parents wanted him to join. “I’ve realized that food is one of the only places in America where we are the top dogs,” he says. “Guys like David Chang or me—we can hang. There’s a younger generation that grew up eating Chinese fast food. They respect our food. They may not respect anything else, but they respect our food.”

Rather than strive to make himself acceptable to the world, Huang has chosen to buy his way back in, on his own terms. “What I’ve learned is that America is about money, and if you can make your culture commodifiable, then you’re relevant,” he says. “I don’t believe anybody agrees with what I say or supports what I do because they truly want to love Asian people. They like my fucking pork buns, and I don’t get it twisted.”

Words of Wisdom

My mom went caps lock killa on me again. She got some chain letter from her Chinese friends about drinking water. She texted me, "this is why you're fat." Awesome, thanks mom. Been trying to figure that one out for a while now. Halfway through, this thing reads like a Chick-fil-a eat more chikin ad. Gotta love her.

I JUST READ AN ARTICLE ABOUT DRINKING WATER.  YOU MUST DRINK 6-8 CUPS OF WATER DAILY AS MINUM. IF NOT ENOUGH OVER TIME BRINGS HEALTH PROBLEMS.
OUR BODIES IS MADE OF 60% OF WATER, AND NEEDS WATER FOR ALL REASONS. 
ALLERGIES, HEART PROBLEM, DIGESTIVE PROBLEMS.................HEADACHE,.......ETC. ALL CAUSED BY LACK OF WATER OVER LONG PERIODS.

EXERCISE,
HAPPY, NOT STRESSED
EAT HEALTHY AND EARLY FOR DINNER,
MORE SMALL FISH THAN BIG FISH, MORE FISH THEN CHICKN, MORE CHICKEN THAN PORK, THEN LAM, THEN BEEF. to be minum
SLEEP EARLY PLENTY REST
DRINK ENOUGH WATER ALL THE TIME

YOU HAVE GOT IT UNDER CONTROL NOW.

Specials May 9th to 13

So, mad people hit me up after the FOOD GOLD video featuring Loco Moco. We gonna take a break from all the new unstoppable hot shit and bring it back for one week. All yall prawns that missed it the first time, now is your chance to get busy. Aiiiiiittteee. Starting Monday May 9th, Loco Moco in the Haus.

Foooood GOOOOLLLLDDDD

Food Gold Video Party: Loco Moco with Eddie Huang and Ninjasonik from Mr Goldbar on Vimeo.