Rabu, 30 Maret 2011

Kenzo Digital: Scarface Health Care



Hilarious

Daddy's Home



Ursher and I didn't have to do a lot of flexin' in March. Besides having to check a few people concerning my man O-beezy's favorite restaurant, Red Rooster, shit was quiet on the blog. I hadn't even read eater in a couple weeks when I saw this thing about the James Beard Humor Awards... Daddy's home.

When will every industry just universally add a humor award? Tragedy is easy, comedy is hard. Woody Allen could murk any hollywood screenwriter, Mark Twain tackled race, wrote perhaps America's first epic with wit, and Shakespeare already told yall. Is it not journalism because humorists don't call and interview people? Why would we need to? Read eater. Nobody does it mo-better than Mo-rabito. Hilarious too that the "writer" who called out the humor section did it anonymously on a list serv. Dude, you're a writer, if you're upset WRITE ABOUT IT... in a PUBLICATION. Listservs are for pedophiles and you.

(I would like to add, Twain wrote under a pen name and there's debate if Shakespeare is Shakespeare so leave @ruthbourdain alone.)

Comedy is the only thing that makes food writing worth it. Otherwise, we could just make picture books with emotional prompts. Photo of Blooming Onion... "cry bitch". Speaking of onion booty, I was quite surprised Perfections wasn't nominated. I'm a big fan of breakfast, it should be a category: James Beard's Favorite Legs & Eggs. Tony, if they do that, will you go to the show?

I fux with Bourdain. There's too much of a disconnect between the Beard Awards and the people who are actually cooking and eating. Who's driving the increased interest in America's Food Scene? Female Asian Yelpers, people who watch No Reservations, and those who read @ruthbourdain. You need the high and the low, white and mexican, hot and sour. Wherever I work, I don't let people call me chef. The respect is in the way they work, not what they call you. If your dudes are showing up early off-the-clock to get prep done, that's fucking respect. If they come in on off-days to make sure no one is fucking up the special, that's respect. If they call you chef, it's pandering.

I think the one part of Bourdain's post that people take the wrong way is that he's not attacking the chefs nominated, he's attacking the institution, which is always a good thing. If you talk to any winning chef, I'm sure he'll start shouting out his team first. The only Beard winner I've worked with was John Currence and in one weekend, I learned more about team than I ever had. Dude had a family that really believed in him, which every restaurant needs. It was dope to find out that his right hand man was a customer first as a student in grad school who gave up what he was doing to work with Currence. Other guys were part-time rappers, part-time cooks, and full-time daddys. That's who cooks our food. #respect

People are pitting Kat and Tony against each other, but if you read the article, I think there is common ground. Kat came up with the Humor section. I think it's BULLSHIT that our trip to Old As Hills Liquor Store was not nominated, but it's all good. Love you boo. I've seen Kat offered free food and every time she turns it down. Even off duty. There is a distinction on this issue though. Tony is right, some people are swag hacks. But, the cooks, chefs, PR people, and owners are equally guilty. Part of it is the culture. We love sharing our food. Cooks love cooking for cooks and a lot of writers are former cooks. The good ones turn it down.

I don't follow the Beard awards. I'm like 3 days late on this post. It doesn't apply to me. I was at Bullfrog and Baum hanging out one day last year and they asked if I followed the awards. I responded, "James Beard is probably just another white dude like Jay Cheshes who can't tell Dan Dan from Zha Jiang mien." Until yall get categories like Best Under $25 Chef, Best Pastrami North, or Best New Restaurant without 3 Guys Wearing Top Hats Standing Under Expensive Heat Lamps... I'm not tuning in. BUT, that doesn't mean the people who win don't deserve it or aren't doing the damn thing. It just means a lot of people were left out. And the ones who are part of the club, should expand it. Cause the party would probably be a lot doper if the cooks were invited:


Two Cooks in France...


Cooks w/ Helmets


Cooks Increasing Food Cost


Cooks w/ Beard Winner

Rabu, 09 Maret 2011

Very Quickly...


Saw this on eater and looked at the comments. As usual, some real geniuses in the bunch. When I read the review, I thought to myself... people are gonna bug out claiming Red Rooster got two stars for the crowd. The Scalia's of the food world who think dining begins and ends with what's on the plate, strict interpretationists. #canIlive?

McNally was a great allusion for the review because we go for atmosphere, service, and Pimm's Cup as much as we do for the food. If you're a eater commentor going to a restaurant and all you want to know is "what's the best thing I can eat w/ this 2011 tap water for $25 including tip" well, you're missing the point and you should stay in the East Village where you can go to any number of Japanese take-out joints for $6 and not even get ice water. Because, as your buddy says "Fuck the apps! That's where they're hiding the cost of tap water!"

For the record, it seems the food was quite good and I'm not the reviewer. I can't say that he gave points for certain things cause unlike sex with the Russian Judge, there's no scorecard (FUCK). But, in response to the commentors, most of my friends that went said it was solid, high one-star food but great atmosphere that'd kick it up to two. One-star doesn't mean the food's bad, it's more about the style. It's rustic, homey, etc. Read the criteria for the review. Atmosphere and value are part of the package. Take another Harlem restaurant, Rao's that got 3-stars from none other than your girl, Mimi. It's classic, stellar, 1-star red sauce Italian, but would anyone deny the atmosphere, mystique, etc? Dude, Hov shot Death of Auto-tune there. He's not shooting it at Kenka as much as you think it's the best value in town. Uncle Vincent's Chicken... fux wit it.

Besides the fact that atmosphere is a crucial component to the review, you HAVE to give Samuelsson credit for taking a risk and going to Harlem just like we gave credit to people for going to Brooklyn 8 years ago (and still do). The sooner you guys realize there is culture, politics, and economics involved in dining, the better off we'll be. If I went and opened a restaurant on 8th Ave in Sunset Park, I'd hope to get points for degree of difficulty. Who knows if anyone would show up? Places like Sushi Samba survive in Manhattan just off the strength of location, price point, and women from Jersey. It's an honorable thing to go serve an underserved neighborhood and fill a need. I did the same shit by opening Baohaus next to a Chinese Massage Parlor. A girl's gotta eat after hanging up those "please keep your pants on" signs! #bodywok

Really though, why wouldn't you celebrate a restaurant that every one can appreciate. Every one loves Samuelsson for the food, but his story makes him special. It's impossible to dislike the guy even if he's dressed like the love child of Bob Marley and Aunt Jemima. There's nothing wrong with that. Ok, maybe there is but I can't pin point it.

And lastly... I already hear you fools "this dude loves sifton". Listen, I can't wait till he drops a biscuit review because I will be the first one to say it tastes like "cardboard and water." I'd say more but I gotta go hoop on these fools off Eastern Parkway. #oyvey

Hmmmm



young hummmaaaaaa

Damn...



As I leave my competition/respirator style
Climbed the ladder to success/escalator style
Hold yall/ breathe I told yall/death controls yall/Big don't fold yall
I spit phrases that'll thrill you/you're nobody till somebody kills you



fast forward to 7:00

And he had the coolest moms. Big up to Brooklyn... and China

RIP BIG



Even the Canibus man knows... The Greatest Rapper of All Time Died on March 9th

Senin, 07 Maret 2011

Shark's Fin and Salon.com Readers: A Sweet Memoir of Americans Who Can't Read


Either this guy and his friends just discovered Salon.com or the literacy rate in America has hit rock bottom. Read Francis Lam's article on the Shark's Fin Ban. It was a great piece about how Shark's Fin has a very important place in Chinese cuisine. It is the quintessential Chinese banquet food. What really bothers me though are the commenters on the article. This is my second language and clearly I reads mo better than yous. Francis states very well why he favors a ban on Shark's Fin Soup but points out the selective enforcement and application of the law. Yet, commenters who probably can't get past the word "racist" long enough to read, are posting knee-jerk "they're taking america away from me" type shit.

When I got straight-A's, I asked for Mario Kart. Instead, I got a bullshit bowl of Shark's Fin Soup. Looks like Francis got the same thing and in the process captures what Shark's Fin Soup means to Chinese people. It is a rite of passage. Sure, it seems silly to you, but it's kinda like our axe body spray. Can't go to Prom without it. #winning

Shark's Fin Soup is all about winning, but while it has a revered place in Chinese culinary history, it's time to let it go. We can still eat bird's nest and if they take that away, well, we'll just have to find something new and gelatinous to worship. My grandma had bound feet, but when I begged to get mine bound, my parents had the foresight to say, "He'll never understand that Robert Frost poem in College about traveling on roads if he has bound feet!" Yes, assimilation is a bitch but sometimes it prevents bound feet. In this case, it can also prevent the destruction of the eco system. If we don't have sharks, clown fish will take over the world.

There is a very good point made here. While we're banning Shark's Fin, let's ban Blue Fin Tuna, Caspian Caviar, and ... if we must... Atlantic Cod. I'm sure people in Boston will protest by dumping fish and chips into the harbor, but if history has taught us anything, there is only one Bostonian worth saving: Bill Simmons and luckily he lives in LA. Banning just one item reeks of political posturing when there are a number of items that should be taken care of as well. Food politics is pretty important so this is a step in the right direction. This isn't about Chinese people or shark's fin at the end of the day. It's about the environment and cutting the things out of our diet that mortgage our future. Just like the deficit, we probably should have done something decades ago. It's not too late. Fuck the people who can't let blue fin tuna go and do the right thing, Mookie. Next time I get straight-As, I want tiger's blood and Alexis Texas. Neither of which have a large carbon footprint unless she sits on my xerox machine.

FYI, if you like blue fin tuna belly, try yellow tail belly, it's better.

TV DInner Week 8


I'm back. Western Chinese Style Chicken Stir fry - cumin, chilis, peppercorns, garlic, good stuff. Chinese Broccoli, pickled cucumbers. Enjoy. $10 mon - thurs this week only 11:30am to 11pm delivery. take out, or dine-in